Ask the Agents
Send a Letter
I have stopped all mobile communication inside this building, no more Angry Birds or dirty pictures. So help me God. This is an active archive of all letters sent inside of the Avengers Mansion. Enjoy yourself and don't think to deeply into anything you see here. If the going is slow, please remember that there is only one postman in the building. Any harassment shall lead to a transfer to Siberia. No plotting the end of the world, that goes for everyone. Stark included.
Making coffee for Stark.
I’ll show you in two minutes.
Where’d you take those kittens, there’s only one in my office now.
Give me five minutes, I’m being hunted. If you’ve built a whole new room for them, I’ll make you coffee for the next three days.
Where’d you go. I’ve got an idea, I got something for the kittens.
Anonymous asked: Mister Rogers, sir? Captain? Do you have any idea what's going on? Agent Romanoff's been walking around HQ in frilly pastels and humming. And Agent Coulson's stopped wearing neckties. And Director Fury *smiled and laughed* today. I-I'm f-freakin' out, Sir..
Bruce warned me about this. He made some chemical thing. Something to do with a “dopamine”? He warned me Thor would mix it up.
I can feel the aftermath already.
Anonymous asked: Okay, which one of you wants to jerk me off?
Boom. None of us.
justamus asked: A green kitten? Is that ....a Hulk kitten?
It must be. Bit more polite though. Currently hiding under Phil’s desk with them because Hill says I’m not allowed to keep them. I’m lucky we survived the night hiding out around the tower.
Screw her, I’m a super hero.
Anonymous asked: What did Cap even say to you, Tony?
He insulted my tech, specifically the fridge and the toaster. The fridge has been slapping him on the ass for days now and the toaster won’t accept his food.
Anonymous asked: Dear Steve, liberal or conservative?
Conservative. Although back in my day, we didn’t care what Roosevelt was, so long as he fixed the economy. Life was tough growing up in the 30s.